LOL! Slightly funny! I’m Muslim, but it’s better than all this insanity going on for the past month.
Celente, I dare you not to use jokes on Twitter that aren’t morbid or gratuitous for the next 3 days and to have cartoons in the Journal that aren’t so corny!
(Thanks for the laugh!)
emk_phoenix1
on September 11th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
Not funny at all, if your attempting to pickup when your brother George left off then get a script writer.
Muslims pray as an act of worship and because we have a congruent belief in God. We practice what we preach (irrespective of the hypocritical Muslim puppet leaders installed by the US).
If you want to joke about our way of life, then perhaps you should first consider your own illogical path that serves no purpose.
s_tabikh
on September 30th, 2010 at 4:42 am
Have you ever noticed that the devout of all religions tend take themselves too seriously and have a holier than thou attitude? I think it promotes elitist attitudes and racism. After all, if theirs is the one true religion, everyone else is lesser.
pathquest
on September 30th, 2010 at 3:17 pm
I’m a researcher and understand Islam and Muslim sentiments globally deeply.The vid was basically about a Trend.Anybody taking offense needs their heads checked!
mrbrainy1
on October 9th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Actually, if decent key chains with a compass pointing to Mecca was marketed, it would sell. If it was at least as appealing as a quality zippo lighter, say…
I don’t take great offense at the video because I know someting about America and Americans as you do.
This Geezer is talking about Prayers and he refers to tehm as people who “gotta drop down 5 times every day.” Ouch!
Clear?
reader
on October 18th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
He is funny… a bit of a cross between George Carlin and the old boy that used to come on right after 60 minutes. George Carlin was a favorite of mine.. Bless his acid truth telling heart!
Thanks for adding this gentleman to your offerings.
Nancy
englishvinal
on November 10th, 2010 at 1:45 am
Well I am muslim and quiet few time looking for direction to pray this guy is right having key chain with compass is good idea..I would buy one.
sr-khan
on December 5th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I am muslim, and I find nothing at all offensive about his video. He tells the truth, we do need to ‘drop down’ and pray. Just as we have to ‘drop down’ to do push-ups when we exercise. Just as we have to ‘drop down’ to tie our shoes. It’s simply descriptive as to what happens at times. And he did not apply it in an offensive way, he simply stated a fact.
And I’d really like to have a few of those key chains. They’d be handy for several reasons.
Hamman
on December 19th, 2010 at 9:51 pm
Uhhhh, whats a Muslim?
equineconversionproducts
on December 23rd, 2010 at 2:44 am
Joe, I’m quite sure it was just a typo? Wonder Joe if they have more than one head? (Heads checked?? )
By the way I thought praising God on your knees is about God and we are “all lesser”, Steve. It’s not about us, it’s about the relationship you should be yearning to develop with the God of all creation who loves you with all your fallacies, fears, and the rest. The offer is there, but the choice is YOURS. Frankly, if a compass is needed to find the direction to God it looks to me like a ONE WAY STREET. Possiblly the only comfort they will ever have.
lashoyas
on January 8th, 2011 at 5:32 am
Right on! But…you’re behind the times, it should be an “App” for your iPhone or Android phone.
budwht1953
on January 13th, 2011 at 10:09 am
As funny as Pope on a Rope — the shower soap sensation for all Christians. Hey if you can’t laugh, maybe you’re not living.
headlesshorseman
on January 18th, 2011 at 8:35 pm
It’s just not funny. Nowhere near George. The name lures people into disappointment. I’m not religious but I can see how a Muslim might be offended. I hope you make similar jokes about Christians. Believe me, they’re just as funny.
semperliberi
on January 29th, 2011 at 4:53 pm
it’s not a joke people! it’s a genuine piece of advice. nobody should be offended and nobody should be dissapointed. i actually think it’s the most innovative idea to come out of america in a long while.
shmorg
on February 8th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Gerald, Dan Carlin might be a better choice.
mawardly
on February 12th, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Not my kind of humor.
annelisebauman
on June 19th, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Society should do away with all religions, hey I believe in Santa Clause..NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! It belongs in the mythology section..
lioneljimenez2003
on June 21st, 2011 at 11:34 pm
religion is the root of all evil…
philsplace.bissonnette385
on July 9th, 2011 at 7:33 pm
I think it is a GREAT idea ( the business part of it ) as well as the service it provide to the people who need it.
this good be even a software running on their cell phone or android.
thedan99
on July 21st, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Why is Islam being targeted by the globalists? Google “Pentagon’s New Map” and watch the presentation by CFR member Thomas P.M. Barnett (never trust anyone with 2 middle names). The muslim world is targeted because the internationalists (NWO guys) need a test bed for a later, even more intractable religious opponent (Christians) who will not accept total global slavery! BTW, when I say Christians I don’t mean Americans because too many American Christians have no clue what the Bible really says, and they are not likely in their present sleeping state to resist the new global order. They never heard of Peter Hoagland, and his claim that “Fundamental, Bible-believing people do not have the right to indoctrinate their children in their religious beliefs because we, the state, are preparing them for the year 2000 when America will be part of a one-world global society and their children will not fit in”. Well, the 21st Century is here. The NWO is here. Our military and the global elites are closing the ‘non-integrating gap’ that Barnett spoke of.
So, whatchya gonna do?
Indiana_Farmer
on August 6th, 2011 at 7:35 am
I do not think this was meant to be insulting…..it describes a trend, but is meant to reflect the human condition of doing things that may seem “funny”….of all the issues in the world…this is the trend that many people find most important…lol?! , really?!..(anyone outside the Muslim community is going to find the concept of praying “in the wrond direction” funny anyway)….I believe this man may be an aeithist and so to him “praying” itself, no matter the religion seems funny….it is all a matter of perception….if you take too much offense and cannot laugh at yourself or other’s perceptions….then….you should not watch these types of things;;;;….life is short…….if you are religious than God understands all of our limitations….hopefully…
terriealeach
on August 13th, 2011 at 4:35 am
Religion needs to be made fun of!
I used to believe in god. But I also believed in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Elves, Ghosts, Goblins and other imaginary creatures. I was five years old. All you need to believe in any of those fantasies is faith! LMFAO.
HMichaelH
on August 22nd, 2011 at 8:30 pm
YOU IDIOTS CAN’T EVEN SHINE MY PAISAN GERALD’S SHOES. RECOGNIZE AND KISS THE RING! OH THERE’S ONE MORE THING, GO GET YOUR SHINE BOX CHUMPS
wizeguy209
on August 24th, 2011 at 4:08 am
A compass points north not to Mecca and where Mecca is on a compass would change from place to place on the planet. Maybe arrows in orbit pointing towards Mecca?
falconsixone
on August 26th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
The worst kind of ignorance is the one that blindly embraces the illusion despite scientific evidence.
In ancient times people believed in gods because they didn’t know any better. You have a computer connected to the global information superhighway – What’s your excuse?
Being religious in modern times is not only ignorant, but an arrogant display of hypocritical ingratitude towards all the advancements in science and technology you take for granted.
M8R-yeaq6h
on October 4th, 2011 at 9:55 pm
I personally think its quite sad to get offended over a joke about an invisible man in the sky. I think its rather silly to believe that if you pray to some invisible man in the sky it in some way gives you an advantage over the next human but get this here is the kicker, there are so many invisible men to pray to in the sky how do you know what which one to pick??? Well maybe some compasses will point you in the right direction lol.
chi854
on October 17th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
A Congruent belief in God…? I don’t think so, the division between Shia and Sunni dates back to the death of the Prophet Muhammad, and the question of who was to take over the leadership of the Muslim nation. Sunni Muslims agree with the position taken by many of the Prophet’s companions, that the new leader should be elected from among those capable of the job. This is what was done, and the Prophet Muhammad’s close friend and advisor, Abu Bakr, became the first Caliph of the Islamic nation. The word “Sunni” in Arabic comes from a word meaning “one who follows the traditions of the Prophet.”
On the other hand, some Muslims share the belief that leadership should have stayed within the Prophet’s own family, among those specifically appointed by him, or among Imams appointed by God Himself.
The Shia Muslims believe that following the Prophet Muhammad’s death, leadership should have passed directly to his cousin/son-in-law, Ali. Throughout history, Shia Muslims have not recognized the authority of elected Muslim leaders, choosing instead to follow a line of Imams which they believe have been appointed by the Prophet Muhammad or God Himself. The word “Shia” in Arabic means a group or supportive party of people. The commonly-known term is shortened from the historical “Shia-t-Ali,” or “the Party of Ali.” They are also known as followers of “Ahl-al-Bayt” or “People of the Household” (of the Prophet).
Sorry… it’s just bad religion much like the divisions between the different sects of Jew’s…. I personally would like Catholics to stop calling themselves Christians. But none the less as long as man has a hand or a voice in it God’s will be ignored.
P.S…. your right .. it may not categorically be gut splitting funny…. But, how about tongue in cheek with the humility to laugh at ourselves not God.
Religion sucks… Faith rules
ddelve
on November 11th, 2011 at 1:14 pm
Not so funny, but tongue-in-cheek funny. It’s good for one to laugh at themselves to keep a healthy distance from fanaticism. In the Vedas it is called cheating religions, or “dharma-kitava.” But that does not not mean all religions are cheating. The real test is if one is developing one’s love of God. I am a Vaisnava priest, commonly called in America as “a Hare Krishna.” I have seen good muslims and bad ones just as in any religious group. For Hindus as the term now has become, the main direction is East. For Muslims it is just the opposite, in fact, everything a Hindu does. So I found it a bit funny. As far as a trend, maybe it is good that Gerald put this up, in case his doomsday forecasts turn out bogus, then he can laugh at himself! As we Hare Krishnas laughed at the movie “Airplane” that had a hilarious scene there. Gravity does not mean there is no place for humor, really.
tirtha108
on December 8th, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Americans in general have no right to criticize or make fun of Muslims who pray, because most Americans live a sinful, self-indulgent life and pray not at all. BUT, the one true God did make the whole earth and heavens, which are only a few thousand years old, with the earth at the center and the heavens revolving around it. AND, the true faith of the one, true God is the Catholic religion, the one founded by our Lord Jesus Christ in 33 A.D., and still continuing, the oldest continuous human institution in history with identifiable officers and representatives. Unfortunately, corruption and worldliness have infiltrated this true Church, and only a remnant, the traditional, Latin-Mass Catholics, are still continuing the holy traditions of our Lord Jesus Christ. May God have mercy on all our souls. Amen.
hendrikmills
on January 8th, 2012 at 3:23 am
Here is a fine example of Congruent belief in Gold from say the Christian point of view… As I said we Christians wish Catholics would quite calling themselves Christians
The Roman Catholic Church claims to have started in Matthew 16:18 when Christ supposedly appointed Peter as the first Pope. However, the honest and objective student of the Scriptures and history soon discovers that the foundation of the Roman church is none other than the pagan mystery religion of ancient Babylon.
While enduring the early persecutions of the Roman government (65-300 A.D.), most of professing Christianity went through a gradual departure from New Testament doctrine concerning church government, worship and practice. Local churches ceased to be autonomous by giving way to the control of “bishops” ruling over hierarchies. The simple form of worship from the heart was replaced with the rituals and splendor of paganism. Ministers became “priests,” and pagans became “Christians” by simply being sprinkled with water. This tolerance of an unregenerate membership only made things worse. SPRINKLED PAGANISM is about the best definition for Roman Catholicism.
The Roman Emperor Constantine established himself as the head of the church around 313 A.D., which made this new “Christianity” the official religion of the Roman Empire. The first actual Pope in Rome was probably Leo I (440-461 A.D.), although some claim that Gregory I was the first (590-604 A.D.). This ungodly system eventually ushered in the darkest period of history known to man, properly known as the “Dark Ages” (500-1500 A.D.). Through popes, bishops, and priests, Satan ruled Europe, and Biblical Christianity became illegal.
Throughout all of this, however, there remained individual groups of true Christians, such as the Waldensens and the Anabaptists who would not conform to the Roman system.
The Papacy and Priesthood
In the Bible there are no popes or priests to rule over the church. Jesus Christ is our High Priest (Heb. 3:1; 4:14-15; 5:5; 8:1; 9:11), and all true Christians make up a spiritual priesthood (I Pet. 2:5). Jesus Christ has sanctified all Christians who believe on Him (Heb. 10:10-11), so all priests today are unnecessary and unscriptural. Furthermore, the practice of calling a priest “father” is forbidden by Jesus Christ in Matthew 23:9. There is only ONE mediator between God and men (I Tim. 2:5).
The Catholic church teaches that Peter was the first Pope and the earthly head of the church, but the Bible never says this once. In fact, it was Peter himself who spoke against “being lords over God’s heritage” in I Peter 5:3. Popes do not marry, although Peter did (Mat. 8:14; I Cor. 9:5). The Bible never speaks of Peter being in Rome, and it was Paul, not Peter, who wrote the epistle to the Romans. In the New Testament, Paul wrote 100 chapters with 2,325 verses, while Peter wrote only 8 chapters with 166 verses. In Peter’s first epistle he stated that he was simply “an apostle of Jesus Christ,” not a Pope (I Pet. 1:1). The Roman papacy and priesthood is just a huge fraud to keep members in bondage to a corrupt pagan church.
The Worship of Mary
Roman Catholics believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus, remained a virgin after the birth of Jesus and was sinless all of her life. She is worshiped in the Catholic church as the “Mother of God” and the “Queen of Heaven.” St. Bernard stated that she was crowned “Queen of Heaven” by God the Father, and that she currently sits upon a throne in Heaven making intercession for Christians.
The Bible teaches otherwise. In the Bible, Mary was a sinner just like the rest of us. She said herself that she needed a “Saviour” (Lk. 1:47), and she even had to offer a sacrifice for her sins in Luke 2:24. Jesus was only her “firstborn” son, according to Matthew 1:25, because she later had other children as well (Mt. 13:55; Gal. 1:19; Psa. 69:8). There’s only ONE mediator between God and men, and it isn’t Mary (I Tim. 2:5). The last time we hear from Mary in the Bible she is praying WITH the disciples, not being prayed to BY the disciples (Acts 1:14). The Bible never exalts Mary above anyone else. Neither should we.
Purgatory
The Catholic Church teaches that a Christian’s soul must burn in purgatory after death until all of their sins have been purged. To speed up the purging process, money may be paid to a priest so he can pray and have special masses for an earlier release.
This heresy began creeping into the Roman Church during the reign of Pope Gregory around the end of the sixth century, and it has no scriptural support. In fact, Jesus warned us about this pagan practice in Matthew 23:14 when He spoke of those who devoured widows houses and made long prayers for a pretence. Psalm 49:6-7 tells us that a person couldn’t redeem a loved one, even if such a place did exist: “They that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches; None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him:”
Peter addresses this issue in Acts 8:20 when he says, “Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.” God’s word is clearly against the doctrine of purgatory.
The Mass
By perverting the Christian practice of the Lord’s Supper (Mat. 26:26-28; I Cor. 11:23-27), the Catholic Church has created the Mass, which they believe to be a continual sacrifice of Jesus Christ:
“Christ…commanded that his bloody sacrifice on the Cross should be daily renewed by an unbloody sacrifice of his body and blood in the Mass under the simple elements of bread and wine.” (The Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol. 10, Pg. 13, Article: “Mass, Sacrifice of”)
Jesus never made such a command. If you’ll check the above references in Matthew 26 and I Corinthians 11, you’ll see for yourself that the Lord’s Supper is a MEMORIAL and a SHOWING of Christ’s death until He comes again. It is not a sacrifice. The Catholic Encyclopedia states the following:
“In the celebration of the Holy Mass, the bread and wine are changed into the body and blood of Christ. It is called transubstantiation, for in the Sacrament of the Eucharist the substance of bread and wine do not remain, but the entire substance of bread is changed into the body of Christ, and the entire substance of wine is changed into his blood, the species or outward semblance of bread and wine alone remaining.” (Vol. 4, pg. 277, Article: “Consecration”)
The Catholic Church teaches that the “Holy Mass” is a LITERAL EATING AND DRINKING OF THE LITERAL FLESH AND BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. The priest supposedly has the power to change the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ.
Now, what does God’s word say about such practices? If you’ll read Genesis 9:4, Leviticus 17:11-12, and Acts 15:29, you will find that God absolutely FORBIDS the drinking of blood all through the Bible.
Rome teaches that the Mass is a continual “sacrifice” of Jesus Christ, but God’s word states that Jesus made the FINAL sacrifice on Calvary! This is made perfectly clear in Hebrews 10:10-12:
“By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God.”
The mass is unnecessary and unscriptural.
Image Worship
The Catholic religion is filled with all sorts of symbols, images, and relics. The Catechism of the Council of Trent states these words:
“It is lawful to have images in the Church, and to give honor and worship unto them…”
It’s lawful to honor and worship images? Not according to God’s word. Exodus 20:4-5 says, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” Image worship is unscriptural and will end with the eternal damnation of those who practice it (Rev. 14:11).
Salvation by Works
Through infant baptism, keeping sacraments, church membership, going to mass, praying to Mary, and confession (just to mention a few), the Catholic church has developed a system of salvation through WORKS. God’s word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, not through works:
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)
“But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.” (Romans 4:5)
Jesus Christ came into this world to lay down His sinless life for YOU–to pay for your sins, because you couldn’t. Jesus is your only hope for salvation. Only by receiving Him as your Saviour can you enter the gates of Heaven. There is no other way.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me.” (John 14:6)
The Lord Jesus Christ has come and PAID for your sins by shedding His own Blood on Calvary. By receiving Him as your Saviour, you can be WASHED from all your sins in His precious Blood (Rev. 1:5; Col. 1:14; Acts 20:28; I Pet. 1:18-19). Notice these important words from Romans 5:8-9:
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.”
Jesus PAID your way to Heaven for you! By receiving Him as your Saviour, you will be receiving God’s ONLY means of Salvation for you. Are you willing to forsake YOUR righteousness and receive Jesus Christ as your Saviour, your ONLY HOPE for Salvation? Romans 10:13 says, “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:9 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” Are you willing to forsake your own righteousness, and trust Jesus Christ alone? He will save you just as He promised. Why not receive Him today and trust Him to give you a better way of life? So put down your Catechism and read the bible.
ddelve
on January 11th, 2012 at 2:49 am
Total crap. Not funny or even slightly amusing. Ditch it.
I’m not religious at all. On the other hand I like George Carlin.
Steve
on January 19th, 2012 at 6:13 am
Give Patrick a break that is fucking hilarious, praying in any direction is ridiculous let alone praying in the right direction. To emk yes muslums do practice what they preach. Unfortunately they preach intolerance, submission and hatred.(where is the LOVE). To falcosixone good line if you don’t mind I may use that sometime. Thanks
info
on February 15th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Greetings to all Muslims,
Being born in what so called middle east and raised there for just over a decade I had to deal/tackle with the islamic baloney such as praying in the RIGHT DIRECTION called ‘gheble’. Though not a muslim It was interesting to me as to how they always mixed math, techs, chemistry, etc with religion while saying everything you see around you is god’s work and all you sheepls need to do is to pray GOD and only good things happen for ya.
Most fine folks do not have slightest IDEA as to how important it is for muslims to pray in the RIGH DIRECTION (GHEBLE). I may not find what Patrick is saying funny (after all he’s not trying to be funny other than getting a message across). My Satellite guy who was a muslim used his HIGH TECK TOOL to locate GHEBLE.
¥¥ – HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES.
The mullas who were pushed down our throats in Persia (the real name for Iran) always stir technology, math, monetary matters, etc. with religion. However first and foremost RELIGION. They also being backed by the European countries especially Great Britain. The mullas regime at least so far has served the interest of western countries other than the US which never gets nothing but holding the bag and hatred towards it by the people of other countries. This regime for the past 33 years has truly helped the European countries and Russia to stick their PROBOSCISES into my first home.
They always call that country an Islamic Country. I BEG THE DIFFER.
†’VE BEEN LIVING IN CANADA FOR 15 YEARS. I DON’T REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT THAT COUNTRY ANYMORE. IN FACT I HAVEN’T BEEN OUT OF NORTH AMERICA FOR 15 SINCE I LANDED HERE.
GB tricked the US to pull out and stop doing biz with Persia while itself took total dominance over that country. Persians love most American Goods. All our Appliances were American in our house.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE:-) AND HAVE A WONDERFUL TUESDAY,
LOL! Slightly funny! I’m Muslim, but it’s better than all this insanity going on for the past month.
Celente, I dare you not to use jokes on Twitter that aren’t morbid or gratuitous for the next 3 days and to have cartoons in the Journal that aren’t so corny!
(Thanks for the laugh!)
Not funny at all, if your attempting to pickup when your brother George left off then get a script writer.
Muslims pray as an act of worship and because we have a congruent belief in God. We practice what we preach (irrespective of the hypocritical Muslim puppet leaders installed by the US).
If you want to joke about our way of life, then perhaps you should first consider your own illogical path that serves no purpose.
Have you ever noticed that the devout of all religions tend take themselves too seriously and have a holier than thou attitude? I think it promotes elitist attitudes and racism. After all, if theirs is the one true religion, everyone else is lesser.
I’m a researcher and understand Islam and Muslim sentiments globally deeply.The vid was basically about a Trend.Anybody taking offense needs their heads checked!
Actually, if decent key chains with a compass pointing to Mecca was marketed, it would sell. If it was at least as appealing as a quality zippo lighter, say…
I don’t take great offense at the video because I know someting about America and Americans as you do.
This Geezer is talking about Prayers and he refers to tehm as people who “gotta drop down 5 times every day.” Ouch!
Clear?
He is funny… a bit of a cross between George Carlin and the old boy that used to come on right after 60 minutes. George Carlin was a favorite of mine.. Bless his acid truth telling heart!
Thanks for adding this gentleman to your offerings.
Nancy
Well I am muslim and quiet few time looking for direction to pray
this guy is right having key chain with compass is good idea..I would buy one.
I am muslim, and I find nothing at all offensive about his video. He tells the truth, we do need to ‘drop down’ and pray. Just as we have to ‘drop down’ to do push-ups when we exercise. Just as we have to ‘drop down’ to tie our shoes. It’s simply descriptive as to what happens at times. And he did not apply it in an offensive way, he simply stated a fact.
And I’d really like to have a few of those key chains. They’d be handy for several reasons.
Uhhhh, whats a Muslim?
Joe, I’m quite sure it was just a typo? Wonder Joe if they have more than one head? (Heads checked?? )
By the way I thought praising God on your knees is about God and we are “all lesser”, Steve. It’s not about us, it’s about the relationship you should be yearning to develop with the God of all creation who loves you with all your fallacies, fears, and the rest. The offer is there, but the choice is YOURS. Frankly, if a compass is needed to find the direction to God it looks to me like a ONE WAY STREET. Possiblly the only comfort they will ever have.
Right on! But…you’re behind the times, it should be an “App” for your iPhone or Android phone.
As funny as Pope on a Rope — the shower soap sensation for all Christians. Hey if you can’t laugh, maybe you’re not living.
It’s just not funny. Nowhere near George. The name lures people into disappointment. I’m not religious but I can see how a Muslim might be offended. I hope you make similar jokes about Christians. Believe me, they’re just as funny.
it’s not a joke people! it’s a genuine piece of advice. nobody should be offended and nobody should be dissapointed. i actually think it’s the most innovative idea to come out of america in a long while.
Gerald, Dan Carlin might be a better choice.
Not my kind of humor.
Society should do away with all religions, hey I believe in Santa Clause..NOT!!!!!!!!!!!! It belongs in the mythology section..
religion is the root of all evil…
I think it is a GREAT idea ( the business part of it ) as well as the service it provide to the people who need it.
this good be even a software running on their cell phone or android.
Why is Islam being targeted by the globalists? Google “Pentagon’s New Map” and watch the presentation by CFR member Thomas P.M. Barnett (never trust anyone with 2 middle names). The muslim world is targeted because the internationalists (NWO guys) need a test bed for a later, even more intractable religious opponent (Christians) who will not accept total global slavery! BTW, when I say Christians I don’t mean Americans because too many American Christians have no clue what the Bible really says, and they are not likely in their present sleeping state to resist the new global order. They never heard of Peter Hoagland, and his claim that “Fundamental, Bible-believing people do not have the right to indoctrinate their children in their religious beliefs because we, the state, are preparing them for the year 2000 when America will be part of a one-world global society and their children will not fit in”. Well, the 21st Century is here. The NWO is here. Our military and the global elites are closing the ‘non-integrating gap’ that Barnett spoke of.
So, whatchya gonna do?
I do not think this was meant to be insulting…..it describes a trend, but is meant to reflect the human condition of doing things that may seem “funny”….of all the issues in the world…this is the trend that many people find most important…lol?! , really?!..(anyone outside the Muslim community is going to find the concept of praying “in the wrond direction” funny anyway)….I believe this man may be an aeithist and so to him “praying” itself, no matter the religion seems funny….it is all a matter of perception….if you take too much offense and cannot laugh at yourself or other’s perceptions….then….you should not watch these types of things;;;;….life is short…….if you are religious than God understands all of our limitations….hopefully…
Religion needs to be made fun of!
I used to believe in god. But I also believed in Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Elves, Ghosts, Goblins and other imaginary creatures. I was five years old. All you need to believe in any of those fantasies is faith! LMFAO.
YOU IDIOTS CAN’T EVEN SHINE MY PAISAN GERALD’S SHOES. RECOGNIZE AND KISS THE RING! OH THERE’S ONE MORE THING, GO GET YOUR SHINE BOX CHUMPS
A compass points north not to Mecca and where Mecca is on a compass would change from place to place on the planet. Maybe arrows in orbit pointing towards Mecca?
The worst kind of ignorance is the one that blindly embraces the illusion despite scientific evidence.
In ancient times people believed in gods because they didn’t know any better. You have a computer connected to the global information superhighway – What’s your excuse?
Being religious in modern times is not only ignorant, but an arrogant display of hypocritical ingratitude towards all the advancements in science and technology you take for granted.
I personally think its quite sad to get offended over a joke about an invisible man in the sky. I think its rather silly to believe that if you pray to some invisible man in the sky it in some way gives you an advantage over the next human but get this here is the kicker, there are so many invisible men to pray to in the sky how do you know what which one to pick??? Well maybe some compasses will point you in the right direction lol.
A Congruent belief in God…? I don’t think so, the division between Shia and Sunni dates back to the death of the Prophet Muhammad, and the question of who was to take over the leadership of the Muslim nation. Sunni Muslims agree with the position taken by many of the Prophet’s companions, that the new leader should be elected from among those capable of the job. This is what was done, and the Prophet Muhammad’s close friend and advisor, Abu Bakr, became the first Caliph of the Islamic nation. The word “Sunni” in Arabic comes from a word meaning “one who follows the traditions of the Prophet.”
On the other hand, some Muslims share the belief that leadership should have stayed within the Prophet’s own family, among those specifically appointed by him, or among Imams appointed by God Himself.
The Shia Muslims believe that following the Prophet Muhammad’s death, leadership should have passed directly to his cousin/son-in-law, Ali. Throughout history, Shia Muslims have not recognized the authority of elected Muslim leaders, choosing instead to follow a line of Imams which they believe have been appointed by the Prophet Muhammad or God Himself. The word “Shia” in Arabic means a group or supportive party of people. The commonly-known term is shortened from the historical “Shia-t-Ali,” or “the Party of Ali.” They are also known as followers of “Ahl-al-Bayt” or “People of the Household” (of the Prophet).
Sorry… it’s just bad religion much like the divisions between the different sects of Jew’s…. I personally would like Catholics to stop calling themselves Christians. But none the less as long as man has a hand or a voice in it God’s will be ignored.
P.S…. your right .. it may not categorically be gut splitting funny…. But, how about tongue in cheek with the humility to laugh at ourselves not God.
Religion sucks… Faith rules
Not so funny, but tongue-in-cheek funny. It’s good for one to laugh at themselves to keep a healthy distance from fanaticism. In the Vedas it is called cheating religions, or “dharma-kitava.” But that does not not mean all religions are cheating. The real test is if one is developing one’s love of God. I am a Vaisnava priest, commonly called in America as “a Hare Krishna.” I have seen good muslims and bad ones just as in any religious group. For Hindus as the term now has become, the main direction is East. For Muslims it is just the opposite, in fact, everything a Hindu does. So I found it a bit funny. As far as a trend, maybe it is good that Gerald put this up, in case his doomsday forecasts turn out bogus, then he can laugh at himself! As we Hare Krishnas laughed at the movie “Airplane” that had a hilarious scene there. Gravity does not mean there is no place for humor, really.
Americans in general have no right to criticize or make fun of Muslims who pray, because most Americans live a sinful, self-indulgent life and pray not at all. BUT, the one true God did make the whole earth and heavens, which are only a few thousand years old, with the earth at the center and the heavens revolving around it. AND, the true faith of the one, true God is the Catholic religion, the one founded by our Lord Jesus Christ in 33 A.D., and still continuing, the oldest continuous human institution in history with identifiable officers and representatives. Unfortunately, corruption and worldliness have infiltrated this true Church, and only a remnant, the traditional, Latin-Mass Catholics, are still continuing the holy traditions of our Lord Jesus Christ. May God have mercy on all our souls. Amen.
Here is a fine example of Congruent belief in Gold from say the Christian point of view… As I said we Christians wish Catholics would quite calling themselves Christians
The Roman Catholic Church claims to have started in Matthew 16:18 when Christ supposedly appointed Peter as the first Pope. However, the honest and objective student of the Scriptures and history soon discovers that the foundation of the Roman church is none other than the pagan mystery religion of ancient Babylon.
While enduring the early persecutions of the Roman government (65-300 A.D.), most of professing Christianity went through a gradual departure from New Testament doctrine concerning church government, worship and practice. Local churches ceased to be autonomous by giving way to the control of “bishops” ruling over hierarchies. The simple form of worship from the heart was replaced with the rituals and splendor of paganism. Ministers became “priests,” and pagans became “Christians” by simply being sprinkled with water. This tolerance of an unregenerate membership only made things worse. SPRINKLED PAGANISM is about the best definition for Roman Catholicism.
The Roman Emperor Constantine established himself as the head of the church around 313 A.D., which made this new “Christianity” the official religion of the Roman Empire. The first actual Pope in Rome was probably Leo I (440-461 A.D.), although some claim that Gregory I was the first (590-604 A.D.). This ungodly system eventually ushered in the darkest period of history known to man, properly known as the “Dark Ages” (500-1500 A.D.). Through popes, bishops, and priests, Satan ruled Europe, and Biblical Christianity became illegal.
Throughout all of this, however, there remained individual groups of true Christians, such as the Waldensens and the Anabaptists who would not conform to the Roman system.
The Papacy and Priesthood
In the Bible there are no popes or priests to rule over the church. Jesus Christ is our High Priest (Heb. 3:1; 4:14-15; 5:5; 8:1; 9:11), and all true Christians make up a spiritual priesthood (I Pet. 2:5). Jesus Christ has sanctified all Christians who believe on Him (Heb. 10:10-11), so all priests today are unnecessary and unscriptural. Furthermore, the practice of calling a priest “father” is forbidden by Jesus Christ in Matthew 23:9. There is only ONE mediator between God and men (I Tim. 2:5).
The Catholic church teaches that Peter was the first Pope and the earthly head of the church, but the Bible never says this once. In fact, it was Peter himself who spoke against “being lords over God’s heritage” in I Peter 5:3. Popes do not marry, although Peter did (Mat. 8:14; I Cor. 9:5). The Bible never speaks of Peter being in Rome, and it was Paul, not Peter, who wrote the epistle to the Romans. In the New Testament, Paul wrote 100 chapters with 2,325 verses, while Peter wrote only 8 chapters with 166 verses. In Peter’s first epistle he stated that he was simply “an apostle of Jesus Christ,” not a Pope (I Pet. 1:1). The Roman papacy and priesthood is just a huge fraud to keep members in bondage to a corrupt pagan church.
The Worship of Mary
Roman Catholics believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus, remained a virgin after the birth of Jesus and was sinless all of her life. She is worshiped in the Catholic church as the “Mother of God” and the “Queen of Heaven.” St. Bernard stated that she was crowned “Queen of Heaven” by God the Father, and that she currently sits upon a throne in Heaven making intercession for Christians.
The Bible teaches otherwise. In the Bible, Mary was a sinner just like the rest of us. She said herself that she needed a “Saviour” (Lk. 1:47), and she even had to offer a sacrifice for her sins in Luke 2:24. Jesus was only her “firstborn” son, according to Matthew 1:25, because she later had other children as well (Mt. 13:55; Gal. 1:19; Psa. 69:8). There’s only ONE mediator between God and men, and it isn’t Mary (I Tim. 2:5). The last time we hear from Mary in the Bible she is praying WITH the disciples, not being prayed to BY the disciples (Acts 1:14). The Bible never exalts Mary above anyone else. Neither should we.
Purgatory
The Catholic Church teaches that a Christian’s soul must burn in purgatory after death until all of their sins have been purged. To speed up the purging process, money may be paid to a priest so he can pray and have special masses for an earlier release.
This heresy began creeping into the Roman Church during the reign of Pope Gregory around the end of the sixth century, and it has no scriptural support. In fact, Jesus warned us about this pagan practice in Matthew 23:14 when He spoke of those who devoured widows houses and made long prayers for a pretence. Psalm 49:6-7 tells us that a person couldn’t redeem a loved one, even if such a place did exist: “They that trust in their wealth, and boast themselves in the multitude of their riches; None of them can by any means redeem his brother, nor give to God a ransom for him:”
Peter addresses this issue in Acts 8:20 when he says, “Thy money perish with thee, because thou hast thought that the gift of God may be purchased with money.” God’s word is clearly against the doctrine of purgatory.
The Mass
By perverting the Christian practice of the Lord’s Supper (Mat. 26:26-28; I Cor. 11:23-27), the Catholic Church has created the Mass, which they believe to be a continual sacrifice of Jesus Christ:
“Christ…commanded that his bloody sacrifice on the Cross should be daily renewed by an unbloody sacrifice of his body and blood in the Mass under the simple elements of bread and wine.” (The Catholic Encyclopedia, Vol. 10, Pg. 13, Article: “Mass, Sacrifice of”)
Jesus never made such a command. If you’ll check the above references in Matthew 26 and I Corinthians 11, you’ll see for yourself that the Lord’s Supper is a MEMORIAL and a SHOWING of Christ’s death until He comes again. It is not a sacrifice. The Catholic Encyclopedia states the following:
“In the celebration of the Holy Mass, the bread and wine are changed into the body and blood of Christ. It is called transubstantiation, for in the Sacrament of the Eucharist the substance of bread and wine do not remain, but the entire substance of bread is changed into the body of Christ, and the entire substance of wine is changed into his blood, the species or outward semblance of bread and wine alone remaining.” (Vol. 4, pg. 277, Article: “Consecration”)
The Catholic Church teaches that the “Holy Mass” is a LITERAL EATING AND DRINKING OF THE LITERAL FLESH AND BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST. The priest supposedly has the power to change the bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ.
Now, what does God’s word say about such practices? If you’ll read Genesis 9:4, Leviticus 17:11-12, and Acts 15:29, you will find that God absolutely FORBIDS the drinking of blood all through the Bible.
Rome teaches that the Mass is a continual “sacrifice” of Jesus Christ, but God’s word states that Jesus made the FINAL sacrifice on Calvary! This is made perfectly clear in Hebrews 10:10-12:
“By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. And every priest standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this man, after he had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right hand of God.”
The mass is unnecessary and unscriptural.
Image Worship
The Catholic religion is filled with all sorts of symbols, images, and relics. The Catechism of the Council of Trent states these words:
“It is lawful to have images in the Church, and to give honor and worship unto them…”
It’s lawful to honor and worship images? Not according to God’s word. Exodus 20:4-5 says, “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me.” Image worship is unscriptural and will end with the eternal damnation of those who practice it (Rev. 14:11).
Salvation by Works
Through infant baptism, keeping sacraments, church membership, going to mass, praying to Mary, and confession (just to mention a few), the Catholic church has developed a system of salvation through WORKS. God’s word says that we are saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ, not through works:
“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)
“But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.” (Romans 4:5)
Jesus Christ came into this world to lay down His sinless life for YOU–to pay for your sins, because you couldn’t. Jesus is your only hope for salvation. Only by receiving Him as your Saviour can you enter the gates of Heaven. There is no other way.
“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me.” (John 14:6)
The Lord Jesus Christ has come and PAID for your sins by shedding His own Blood on Calvary. By receiving Him as your Saviour, you can be WASHED from all your sins in His precious Blood (Rev. 1:5; Col. 1:14; Acts 20:28; I Pet. 1:18-19). Notice these important words from Romans 5:8-9:
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.”
Jesus PAID your way to Heaven for you! By receiving Him as your Saviour, you will be receiving God’s ONLY means of Salvation for you. Are you willing to forsake YOUR righteousness and receive Jesus Christ as your Saviour, your ONLY HOPE for Salvation? Romans 10:13 says, “Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” Romans 10:9 says, “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” Are you willing to forsake your own righteousness, and trust Jesus Christ alone? He will save you just as He promised. Why not receive Him today and trust Him to give you a better way of life? So put down your Catechism and read the bible.
Total crap. Not funny or even slightly amusing. Ditch it.
I’m not religious at all. On the other hand I like George Carlin.
Give Patrick a break that is fucking hilarious, praying in any direction is ridiculous let alone praying in the right direction. To emk yes muslums do practice what they preach. Unfortunately they preach intolerance, submission and hatred.(where is the LOVE). To falcosixone good line if you don’t mind I may use that sometime. Thanks
Greetings to all Muslims,
Being born in what so called middle east and raised there for just over a decade I had to deal/tackle with the islamic baloney such as praying in the RIGHT DIRECTION called ‘gheble’. Though not a muslim It was interesting to me as to how they always mixed math, techs, chemistry, etc with religion while saying everything you see around you is god’s work and all you sheepls need to do is to pray GOD and only good things happen for ya.
Most fine folks do not have slightest IDEA as to how important it is for muslims to pray in the RIGH DIRECTION (GHEBLE). I may not find what Patrick is saying funny (after all he’s not trying to be funny other than getting a message across). My Satellite guy who was a muslim used his HIGH TECK TOOL to locate GHEBLE.
¥¥ – HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES.
The mullas who were pushed down our throats in Persia (the real name for Iran) always stir technology, math, monetary matters, etc. with religion. However first and foremost RELIGION. They also being backed by the European countries especially Great Britain. The mullas regime at least so far has served the interest of western countries other than the US which never gets nothing but holding the bag and hatred towards it by the people of other countries. This regime for the past 33 years has truly helped the European countries and Russia to stick their PROBOSCISES into my first home.
They always call that country an Islamic Country. I BEG THE DIFFER.
†’VE BEEN LIVING IN CANADA FOR 15 YEARS. I DON’T REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT THAT COUNTRY ANYMORE. IN FACT I HAVEN’T BEEN OUT OF NORTH AMERICA FOR 15 SINCE I LANDED HERE.
GB tricked the US to pull out and stop doing biz with Persia while itself took total dominance over that country. Persians love most American Goods. All our Appliances were American in our house.
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE:-) AND HAVE A WONDERFUL TUESDAY,